ZMr. Zobel

Mr. Neil Zobel, English Teacher
Wenatchee High School, 1101 Millerdale, Wenatcheee, Washington
eyes
June 28, 2010  updated
 
Descriptive Paragraph
 
     
     

Website Changed!

Click the "Z" in the banner to go to the new site.

     
 

Dump Truck

One of my old web pages is below.

It will be dumped, soon.

 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

Purple Bar

 

TRANSITIONAL ENGLISH DESCRIPTIVE PARAGRAPH

 

Basic Instructions

   Divide a piece of paper into three columns. Label the first column "Adjectives," the middle column "Nouns," and the right hand column "Simile/Metaphor."

   Create a list of ten nouns ("First") based on a person, an object, or an event. Begin listing nouns from the top left and move down to the right.

   Create a list of adjectives ("Second"): two adjectives describing each noun.

   Create a list of similes or metaphors ("Third") for two of the nouns.

 

The next step...

   Weave sentences together into a full paragarph of no less than eight sentences.

   Edit each sentence into a more pleasing sentence structure.

   Continue the editing process making sure that all requirements of the assignment are met.

Sun

Rubric Concepts

Traits: Word Choice, Content and Ideas, Sentence Fluency

Literature: Teacher selects.

Focus Areas: Simile, Metaphor, Imagery, Descriptive Details, Mood, Consistent Tense (third person).

 
         
 

   A descriptive paragraph has sentences that work together to present a single, clear picture (description) of a person, a place, a thing, an event, or an idea. Description is commonly used in novels, short stories, and essays.

Transitional English

PDF Link

Transition & Linking Words

PDF Link

 

Old Man Fiddling

Fiddlin’ Bill Henseley, mountain fiddler, Ashville,

North Carolina. http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/fsahtml/facapl.html

 
         
 

Descriptive Paragraph

Second                                     First                                        Third

 
 

Adjectives


old

skinny

dusty

tattered

thin

grey

broad

wrinkled

antique

knicked

 
Nouns

man
 

hat
 

hair
 

forehead


fiddle

 

(and five more nouns)

 

 

Simile/Metaphor

 

 

 

like dry straw


rows of dirt in a farmer's plowed field

 

 

First Draft:

    An old skinny man sat alone in an open field. His dusty and tattered hat sat on his head. Under a broad and wrinkled forehead that looked like rows of dirt in a farmer's plowed field gleamed two eyes. Thin, grey straw-like hair stuck out from under the hat. (Add a few more sentences to complement a list of ten nouns).

Second Draft: (adjust nouns and adjectives, and look at verbs and adverbs)

    An old skinny man sat alone in an open field. His dusty and tattered hat quietly rested on his rounded head. Thin, grey straw-like hair poked its way out from under the brim of the dusty, tattered hat. Two contemplative eyes calmly spoke of hope from under a broad and wrinkled forehead that looked like a farmer's plowed field.

Third Draft: (change all verbs to present tense active verbs)

    An old skinny man sits alone in an open field. His dusty and tattered hat quietly rests on his rounded head. Thin, grey straw-like hairs poke their way from under the brim of the dusty, tattered hat. Two contemplative eyes calmly speak of hope from under a broad and wrinkled forehead that looks like a farmer's plowed field.

Fourth Draft: (add transitions)

    Today, an old skinny man sits alone on a park bench. People passing by fail to recognize that his dusty and tattered hat quietly rests on his rounded head. Thin, grey straw-like hairs poke their way from under the brim of the dusty, tattered hat waiting for someone to gift him with a simple glance. Two contemplative eyes calmly speak of hope even though hope seems to pass him by. From under a broad and wrinkled forehead that looks like a farmer's plowed field he silently searches for even one gentle smile.

Splotch

Return to Top of Page

       

FRESHMAN ENGLISH DESCRIPTIVE PARAGRAPH

     

     This unit begins with simple exercises that build toward the student demonstrating an ability to edit a descriptive paragraph. The end product includes

Purple Triangle     use of present tense active verbs throughout the paragraph. Hint: write as if the action occurs as each word is written on the paper.

Purple Triangle     varying sentence length

Purple Triangle     using transitional words to blend, differentiate, or introduce several items or events

Purple Triangle     writing complete sentences that avoid run on and fragment sentences

Purple Triangle     including imagery that enhances the mood of the paragraph

     The final paper is the first in a series of four required papers and one required speech for Freshman English.

2009

Sentence Manipulation Paper

(click on the 3 items below for PDF copies of classroom work)

Paragraph  /  SOS Graphic Organizer  /  Using the SOS

Pencil Talks

Previous Years: Exercise #2

Freshman English Descriptive Paragraph (2a) PDF Link

Freshman English Descriptive Paragraph (2b) PDF Link

Transition & Linking Words PDF Link

       
 

Return to Top of Page

Splotch