Assistance for Learning
Mr. Zobel makes himself available to assist individual students, by appointment, either before or after school.
The English and Social Studies departments also provide a mentor teacher on Thursday evenings in the school library.
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July 30, 2008
updated
Quick Links to: Transitional English Descriptive Paragraph Freshman English Descriptive Paragraph
Transitional English Descriptive Paragraph
Basic Instructions Divide a piece of paper into three columns. Label the first column "Adjectives," the middle column "Nouns," and the right hand column "Simile/Metaphor." Create a list of ten nouns ("First") based on a person, an object, or an event. Begin listing nouns from the top left and move down to the right. Create a list of adjectives ("Second"): two adjectives describing each noun. Create a list of similes or metaphors ("Third") for two of the nouns.
The next step... Weave sentences together into a full paragarph of no less than eight sentences. Edit each sentence into a more pleasing sentence structure. Continue the editing process making sure that all requirements of the assignment are met.
Rubric Concepts Traits: Word Choice, Content and Ideas, Sentence Fluency Literature: Teacher selects. Focus Areas: Simile, Metaphor, Imagery, Descriptive Details, Mood, Consistent Tense (third person). |
First Draft: An old skinny man sat alone in an open field. His dusty and tattered hat sat on his head. Under a broad and wrinkled forehead that looked like rows of dirt in a farmer's plowed field gleamed two eyes. Thin, grey straw-like hair stuck out from under the hat. (Add a few more sentences to complement a list of ten nouns). Second Draft: (adjust nouns and adjectives, and look at verbs and adverbs) An old skinny man sat alone in an open field. His dusty and tattered hat quietly rested on his rounded head. Thin, grey straw-like hair poked its way out from under the brim of the dusty, tattered hat. Two contemplative eyes calmly spoke of hope from under a broad and wrinkled forehead that looked like a farmer's plowed field. Third Draft: (change all verbs to present tense active verbs) An old skinny man sits alone in an open field. His dusty and tattered hat quietly rests on his rounded head. Thin, grey straw-like hairs poke their way from under the brim of the dusty, tattered hat. Two contemplative eyes calmly speak of hope from under a broad and wrinkled forehead that looks like a farmer's plowed field. Fourth Draft: (add transitions) Today, an old skinny man sits alone on a park bench. People passing by fail to recognize that his dusty and tattered hat quietly rests on his rounded head. Thin, grey straw-like hairs poke their way from under the brim of the dusty, tattered hat waiting for someone to gift him with a simple glance. Two contemplative eyes calmly speak of hope even though hope seems to pass him by. From under a broad and wrinkled forehead that looks like a farmer's plowed field he silently searches for even one gentle smile.
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This unit begins with simple exercises that build toward the student demonstrating an ability to edit a descriptive paragraph. The end product includes
The final paper is the first in a series of four required papers and one required speech for Freshman English. Freshman English Descriptive Paragraph (2a) Freshman English Descriptive Paragraph (2b) Transition & Linking Words |
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use of present tense active verbs throughout the paragraph. Hint: write as if the action occurs as each word is written on the paper. 